Steve Martin kicked off the SNL 50th anniversary special on Sunday night with a monologue in which he made jokes about topics ranging from his age to President Trump’s decision to rename the Gulf of Mexico.
Following an opening performance by Paul Simon and Sabrina Carpenter of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound,” Martin took the stage to introduce himself as SNL’s “newest diversity hire” and to deliver the monologue, which he joked is “traditionally the weakest part of the show.”
“When I heard that SNL wanted to do an anniversary special, I literally wanted to leap into the air, and the only reason I didn’t is because at the time I was wearing a short skirt with no underwear,” he joked. “Now I can’t believe I can’t believe I even made it here in time. It was only a few days ago that Lorne [Michaels] told me I was doing the monologue, and I was actually vacationing on a friend’s boat down in the ‘Gulf of Steve Martin.’”
Martin also joked about his age, noting that while SNL is turning 50, he turned 79.
“I feel like I’m 65, which is also not good,” he joked. “Seriously, I do not mind getting older. Do you think these hearing aids make my ass look smaller?”
He also joked about SNL’s long tenure on NBC: “A fun fact: A person born during the first season of Saturday Night Live could today be easily dead of natural causes.”
As for the show’s signature host monologue, Martin joked that it’s “like a rent controlled tenant: It’s not going anywhere, even though it stinks.”
Martin was also joined by John Mulaney, who previously wrote for the show, after the former gave a shoutout to the show’s writer.
“We writers really appreciated that tribute, but I believe that the heart and soul of this show is the celebrity hosts, many of whom are in this room tonight,” Mulaney said. “You know, as I look around, I see some of the most difficult people I have ever met in my entire life. Over the course of 50 years, 894 people have hosted Saturday Night Live, and it amazes me that only two of them have committed murder.”
Mulaney also threw a good-natured jab at Martin: “Each week, each week, a new celebrity host comes in with their own dynamic and they throw everything off, but not you, Steve, because you have no dynamics.
Martin was then joined onstage by his fellow Only Murders in the Building star Martin Short, whom Martin joked was “the only Canadian who wasn’t in Schitt’s Creek.”
After Short said, “I thought we were hosting together,” Martin asked if he had his passport. When Short said he didn’t, a couple of ICE officers came out to drag him offstage.
Joked Martin: “Marty and I have worked together so long, we can actually finish each other’s careers.”
Martin then turned back to his own monologue.
“I hope that you are enjoying my monologue tonight,” he said, “but if you aren’t enjoying it, maybe you should get up and take a good look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘What have I become? It can’t be Steve’s fault.’ Ask yourselves, ‘When did I abandon joy, and what can I bring to the monologue as an audience member?’”
Watch Martin’s monologue below.
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